Category: Dating and Relationships
Your views and experiences with it, your opinions on it.
In my book, you have to actually meet the person; none of this online stuff where you say you're in a relationship and it's strictly online, that isn't a relationship as far as I'm concerned. If you meet somewhere online, but do have plans to meet in the near future, that's different, but strictly online relationships...no way.
i agree. you have to have physical contact for it to be a relationship. i know someone who says he's in a relationship, but one, he hardly knows the girl, and two, they don't see each other. my point is, talking on the phone is just as bad as an online relationship.
Like Lizzy said, if the people are planning on meeting in the near future, or will meet, then it's differr future, that is different. But if the two people really do trust each other and are really motivated to make it work, then more power to them. In other words, I support it if that is what someone else feels like they want to do, but I odn't know if I could do it. It depends.
I'd never date anyone lnline i see no pint to it. If by some miracle things work out, great, but i think nine out of ten relationships, thepeople are very bad decision makers if they choose to be online cyber screws.
I think that these types of relationships have every chance of working as long as both sides are persistant. If both parties have the desire, then things will work out. For this to happen though, you must have every intention of meeting the other person.
I've never had great success meeting people online for dating/romantic purposes or whatever. It's hard to tell what the person is actually like and there are some pricks out there who will pretend to be somebody else as well so you need to keep that in mind. It's not my thing although it has worked for others... Meeting them in person is the best way to go about it in my opinion.
Just like u can meet someone though your work or school, I believe u can meet someone that u could have a relationship with online. However, if u never plan to meet the person, I'm not sure this would constitute a real relationship, though it still does fill a void for some people. I don't see how people can come out and strongly criticize it ghough. Sometimes people need to go online to meet that special one because of either their social circumstances, or maybe they just don't feel comfortable to pursue someone outside of the net. This could be because they could more easily deal with the potential rejection or simply because they feel comfortable with the whole anomimity thing.
thanks yall
Well I do have to say that internet dating definitely has it's pros and it's cons. I've actually given up on it, it's not worth it anymore really. I'd rather meet someone who is local instead.
I have made some experiences with it and I agree with those who say that this is not real love, this is not going to last long most of the time. You should at least have met. If it is a long-distance thing where you use the net, but you have met already ... that's fine. But you MUST have met the partners.
right yall are
Well I will say that 9 out of 10 times it won't work. But there is that very small chance it could I guess. If someone gets on line and meets a person they like. And if the other feels the same then go for it. But don't expect every thing to be peachie. with Internet dating there allways seems to be internet drama. But if that makes people happy then more power to them!
I have had two "internet" relationships, but they only started out that way. I eventually met those people in person, so I didn't consider it an Internet relationship anymore. I don't know if I would do that again, though. I kind of like the idea of getting involved after I meet the person, because then I have a better idea of what I might be getting myself into.
Nay sayers consider for a moment. A relationship can only work if your ready and willing for that relationship to work. On the net, the phone, or in person: a relationship in which the parties in question are ready it can work. I agree with those who say that you can create the person you want them to be on line. That's true, you can also create people in person also. A relationship is two people trying to get to know each other. Why should the medium in which you get to know that person come into question? It is simpily that people practice serial monogamey. Attaching your self to one person befor e you know them is where the problem lies. In person, on the phone, or on the net.
Allie, that is great, but personally i would be scared if I travelled to a BF I don#t know in person. I don't know if he can get me from the airport/station. I don'T know him so I don't know his real intentions. That is why I am pretty scared and do not believe in internet romance. It is great that you met the people and that they turned out to be honest (at least I take it that they were/are). But that is not always the case.
No, you're right. That isn't always the case, LOL.
And DF, you have a very valid point there, man. If both people are ready and willing to have a relationship, then it shouldn't matter if it was over the 'net/phone/in person. But, wouldn't physical attraction have to play into the equation somewhere? Come on, you can't realistically say you'd be attracted to just anybody, that appearance doesn't matter. Sure, initially it doesn't matter for those of us who can't see, because we can't see the other person. But I'm talking about things like cleanliness. I don't know about you, but someone who didn't keep themselves clean and smelled bad would be a big turn off. You can tell a lot about someone's appearance. Chances are, if they don't care enough to groom themselves, they don't care about a lot of other things. And I don't know, i'd rather meet the person first and find out what they're like around other people before I jumped into anything serious.
Well personally, I don't like the fact that some people choose to make it strictly an online relationship. If you plan to meet them then great, but I do think you should spend some time getting to know them first before even getting into a relationship first. this way it gives you a better idea of who is who. Granted, there can be the possibility of you going to meet someone and no one being there to get you or that sort of thing, or meeting someone and they turn out to be a psycho, but really, there are ups and downs to both starting online, and locally, needless to say, it's how brave you are, how confident you are in your self, and what your circumstances are.
Yup. Knowing who's who definitely helps when it comes time to make the decision about getting into a relationship or not. I like the idea of getting to know the person a bit before getting serious ...
I think long distance relationships can work out, as long as there's effort into making it work and trust between the two individuals who are dating each other.
Starting a relationship with someone online is fine, if you both know from day 1 that the ultimate plan is to meet. But talking to someone halfway around the world from you online does not constitute a relationship. Nothing is worse than someone telling you, with a straight face mind you, they have a significant other. We've been together now for six months, and we're meeting for the first time next week. LOL
I agree, if so, you have to meet. But I stick to my point: There is still a risk. What if you are standing on the airport/station, he/she promised to pick you up or gets someone else to pick you up, and nobody is coming? What are you going to do then?
I realize the topic of meeting others we meet via the internet is in regards here to dating and romance but too there are friendships that are formed and Yes, from this point of view I have met with someone I met on line. The other person and I realized there was an all day conference that started the day first with a breakfast and we living approx. 35 miles apart thot it would be kinda neat if we met each other and then leaving my vehicle at her mom’s to go the rest of the journey, approx. another 35 or so miles away together in her car. We had shared so much in e-mails that we felt like old girlfriends getting reacquainted after an absence rather than the situation of this being a first time in person meeting for us. The day was a blizzardary snow storm kind of day and I did have to call her by cell phone at one point as the roads were difficult to maneuver in the storm and this being an area that I hadn’t been before. The restaurant/convention room where we met was a place known to her and she knew many in attendance. There was about 10 persons to a table with the room having a good 30 tables all filled and with persons all meeting for the same purpose, many at our table thot it interesting when my galpal and I mentioned we had met via the net.
Would I ever plan on meeting with others that I met first through the net… Yes. I know Courtney (from The Zone here) and I desire to meet and talk over coffee at some point. It has been a problem only in that I am a care provider for my mother who is in a wheelchair and then too a vehicle that is needed by more than myself I share with another… One day…we..shall..have..cofeee..together…I hope!
Would I meet with guypals that I have met on line.. Yes, with the understanding that it was Friends meeting and not a meeting for romance… as I am married but that doesn’t exclude me from meeting and talking with others that are males. (Thank Goodness!!)
Matter of fact I hope that many of us through the years can be given to meet…at my home in the Country where the desire is to put in place a Woodland Wilderness Walk, a hiking trail with Braille markers as well as large print markers. (Check my profile out)
Ines, there is a need to have a back-up plan that in the event the one who said they would meet you doesn’t show up. Also the need to have the meeting be more than a time for the two of you to meet.. like schedule the meeting at the same time you can go to other events in the area so if the what was a planned meeting of friends seems to fizzle and go downhill then you have other avenues to follow through with.
To Cala who started this Board Post, I think it would be neat meeting you at some point in time…goodness only knows how I enjoy your writings….but not for romance…just Friendship…*Smiles*
Connie i totally agree, but what if there are no other events? If you just can not find any event that happens when you would meet your partner? I mean, I am sure it happens. Or what if the guy/girl you meet is a total idiot or a cruel person, and you have to stay with them, and suddenly you realize that it is getting impossible to stay with them? It is not so easy to find another room so quickly.
Ines, I hear you… There are some real idiots out there…cruel ones and those that would want to get another into say kidnapping, prostitution, etc… First off if meeting another for a first time I would have to say that separate rooms should be the norm (ok. So I am really an old fashioned girl at heart ~ smile) Also I question using the term, “partner.” It is one thing to become interested in another say via the net and then can be quite a different situation to meet.. well, my thot is that it should be a slow go (I am old fashioned, remember??) so that when meeting that other one it is not in say the “partner” sense of the word, rather realizing it is say that first time meeting and how one is when generally meeting another for a first… (o.k. so some hop in bed the first time they meet another.. me, No, not my style) I will agree with some comments already, sorry forgot who said what, but with say this first meeting there is already quite a bit known about each other (if those ones e-mailing have been honest that is).
Ines, I don’t know if you ever plan to come to the States (I live in Michigan) but hopefully the Woodland Trail I discussed in the earlier post would also come to be a meeting place of sorts for those that would like to meet with some amount of security in that this trail to be is located in an area where several are the outdoor activities (summer in particular what with swimming the many lakes of the area, Dune-mo-bile rides, canoeing, as well as a summer music camp, etc) and could function some what as a go-between, in that cabin availability, etc…would be checked out and the reservations provided for…it could function as say, that back-up/go-between.
Ines, you are so correct to think of safety factors.. A young lady traveling the world over…maybe one thinks they have a real cool thing going on with someone on the net only to discover too late that it was simply a pervert luring them into a cunning trap. Depending on the ages of those in that net relationship, it might be something to consider having someone older, I won’t say parent rather someone that you have already come to trust in your life, well, have that one in your life check out that other person that you desire to meet and then to be in constant communication with that one if you do decide to go on and meet with that one you have net encountered/planning to meet with. If that other one that you plan on meeting objects then you right then and there know to drop ‘em.. for if they can’t realize that your safety comes FIRST then don’t bother with them.
Yes. i mean I travelled the world too but I knew the person I was going to visit. I agree, Connie, that it shoudl be a slow gol. And I do not think this is old fashioned. Not at all, it is just sensible.
Hey Connie! I'd definitely love to meet you one day ... *SMILE* That woodland trail sounds divine!
Right now the Trail is hiding under...Growth of Old that needs to be cleared...that and.... snow...And YES! I would so enJOY meeting with you and taking a walk with you on that Trail that is right now kinda playing hide on all of us. *smiling
I'm with leaffan on this one, you can start up a friendship with someone and then plan to meet them, but I don't think you can call them your boyfriend/girlfriend until you've actually met. I've heard of couples who have got engaged before they've even met, and personally i think that by doing that you just make yourself a laughing stock, because most people don't consider internet relationships to be workable anyway. If you meet and then love each other then by all means get engaged, but what is the point of apprently planning to marry someone you've never even met, it ain't gunna happen, and you have to get to know someone in person before you decide to make a lifetime commitment to them.
As for internet predators, there are a lot of them out there, and they're not all out to do physical harm to people they meet online, some of them are just turned on by the chase, the flattering comments, the thought that someone halfway across the world is thinking of them, and meanwhile they could se spinning the same line to several other people at the same time and no one would ever be any the wiser.
Hey, Claire, I so know what you mean ... speaking from personal experience, LOL.
I don't think it's truly possible.